How many times have we heard that over the years? I like to think that is not necessarily true but over the last couple of weeks I have realized something. No one can do my job as I do it, and that is not necessarily a good thing.
I want to delegate. I really really do. But when I have to constantly repeat myself and ask for things to be done, in the time it takes me to explain them I could have used that energy and time to just do it myself and get it done. I do not feel I am asking too much or being extra picky, but the last few weeks have had me at the edge of my patience and boundaries with a couple of people. The feeling of disrespect from not being heard...it's not a good feeling. I expect that kind of behavior from children, but adults? Not so much.So I had to face the facts. As without so within. Meaning that I know my external reality is created by my internal reality. I knew the only way I was going to solve any of this was I had to go inwards and dig deep. But before I could do that and even begin to sort this all out, I had to be clear in why I was bothered. I had to break it down to the base things that were bothering me.1. I felt like I was not being heard. That made me feel disrespected, unacknowledged, and used.2. I felt like people were taking advantage of my good nature and knowing that I probably would not call them out on their 'crap' so they decided to steamroll me instead.I'
m a patient person. To a point. And I was pushed past that point. My inner warrior was in full effect-that 'inner me' that thrives on justice, truth and honesty was saying a loud no to disrespect, no to tyranny, no to unfairness, and no to just anything really.When I took all of the 'things' (and they were just that-things) that were bothering me, and I took them inside of myself and meditated and contemplated, I realized that the real person I was annoyed with was myself. I was not listening to, acknowledging, or honouring myself. I was not taking the time in my life to listen to my inner voice, so how on earth could I realistically expect anyone to listen to my outer one? 
So I took a couple of days off. And I meditated, and I connected, and I wrote and I channeled and I created, and you know what? I am so glad I did. I had some incredible amazing epiphanies. I have learned so many new things. I been so creative with 3 new very exciting projects in the works (it will be like having triplets-but I have had twins already so I can do it-it's all good)I have made the promise to myself to honour myself and create more time in my day for reflection.In the end I am grateful for all of those people who rubbed me the wrong way to get me here. They reminded me that they are just the mirror and the answer to any and all outer conflict and frustration is to simply to have the courage to look into the mirror and look within.xo Kerri